


i'll never leave you (lost at sea);

by unintentionallyangsty



Series: drive the dark things away; [19]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies), Thor: Ragnarok (2017) - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood, Brodinsons, Brother Feels, Brotherly Affection, Brotherly Angst, Brotherly Love, Brothers, Comfort, Comfort/Angst, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emergency Medical Technicians, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, Hopeful Ending, Hospitalization, Hospitals, Hurt, Hurt Loki (Marvel), Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Injury Recovery, Loki (Marvel) Feels, Loki (Marvel) Has Issues, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Loki Gets a Hug (Marvel), Loki Lives (Marvel), Men Crying, Mental Breakdown, Mute Loki (Marvel), Muteness, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Panic Attacks, Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Protective Thor (Marvel), Self-Harm, Sharing a Bed, Thor is a Good Bro (Marvel), Tony Stark Has A Heart, Whump, Whumptober, Whumptober 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:15:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27870645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unintentionallyangsty/pseuds/unintentionallyangsty
Summary: An Infinity War au, of sorts. Following the events of Thanos' attack on theStatesman, and Heimdall subsequently sending himself, Thor, Bruce, and Loki to Midgard, the small group is stuck in a sort of limbo, waiting for an indication as to what the correct next step might be -- if there is one at all.Luckily, Bruce manages to get into contact with an old friend, who promises their help within the week.Not so luckily, Thor determines that, given Loki's still slowly improving health (as well as his continued inability to speak), it might be best to keep the development from his brother, for the time being.This, unsurprisingly, does not work out in anyone's favor.(Whumptober 2020 Prompt #29 Fill: Intubation / Emergency Room).(part two of my day #24 prompt fill:'your soul survives (but peace you'll never find);')
Relationships: Bruce Banner & Thor, Heimdall & Thor (Marvel), Loki & Thor, Loki & Thor (Marvel), Tony Stark & Thor
Series: drive the dark things away; [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1949623
Comments: 27
Kudos: 214
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	i'll never leave you (lost at sea);

**Author's Note:**

> Loki & Thor. the _Statesman_ and, following, Midgard. Loki is (barely) alive and Infinity War has Kind Of happened. 
> 
> written for the Whumptober 2020 Prompt #29 Fill: Intubation / Emergency Room. 
> 
> (also this is very overdue and i am very sorry about that !!!)
> 
> **chapter warnings !** : pretty graphic mentions of self harm, panic attacks, dissociation, hospitalization, and descriptions of injuries. please take care !

A heavy pounding at the front door woke Thor from his uneasy slumber, and he groaned quietly before moving to attempt to extract himself from the limbs wrapped tightly around his middle, in order to stand and greet the caller. 

Though it had been nearly a week since he and Loki had begun sharing one of the two beds in their small motel room (more for the purpose of seeking out the comfort of someone familiar, than anything else) each night, Thor had not quite been able to familiarize himself with his brother being so unexpectedly _clingy_. 

It wasn’t the first time Thor had experienced Loki wrapping himself unyieldingly around his frame, certainly, though the last time had been so long ago Thor scarcely remembered it having happened at all. 

And though Thor wished to take the opportunity to bask in the unfamiliar closeness a moment longer, the pounding at the door seemed to have grown more frantic and insistent in the past half a minute or so, leaving him with little choice but to rise from the thin mattress with another groan and hasten toward the source of the noise. 

“Coming!” he called, as quietly as he could manage, though felt little pleasure when the knocking immediately halted, following the call. 

Especially when, not a second after he threw the door to the room he and Loki were sharing open, Bruce fairly staggered into the space, his breaths heavy and eyes bright with discovery. 

“He answered!” Bruce cried breathlessly, “I got him!” 

Despite himself, Thor felt a small, bewildered smile tugging at the corner of his mouth at the unexpected energy imparted so early in the morning. 

That was, he anticipated that it was early, given that, with one quick glance over his shoulder, Thor found that Loki was still sleeping soundly on the bed behind him, seemingly undisturbed by the noise. 

“Got who?” Thor inquired, and forced himself to lean against the doorframe with a nonchalance he did not quite feel. 

In reply, Bruce’s smile only widened, and he spread his arms out with an exuberance Thor knew had to be born of something close to sheer desperation being met with an entirely unanticipated surge of hope. 

“Tony!” Bruce declared, his cheeks slightly flushed. “He got back to me! I--I didn’t really know how to work Twitter, at this point. But somehow he saw and--”

“Wait, wait--” Thor held up a hand and forced himself not to give in entirely to the hope he could feel stirring to life in this space between his ribs. “You--Tony. He--” 

“He got back to me, Thor!” Bruce replied, a little breathlessly. “He’s gonna help us.” 

All at once, Thor felt the breath within his lungs leave him in a _whoosh_ , and he fought the urge to stagger backwards with the force of it. 

Though he had not spent a significant amount of time on Midgard, previously, he knew Stark, and knew that his assistance was not an offer to be taken lightly. 

Meaning…

“You mean he intends to help us?” Thor demanded, and took a small step closer to where Banner was practically bouncing in place. 

If Bruce sensed the shift in energy between them, he did not react. Instead, he merely took a step further into the room and kicked the door behind himself closed, before turning to face Thor with an unyielding grin. 

“That’s what he said!” he informed, though it took only one significant look from Thor before his gaze skittered to the bed behind, and he immediately lowered his voice into something more like a poor attempt at a whisper. “He told me he’d send money, but I can’t get into any of my bank accounts. I--Hell, I don’t even have an ID.” Bruce buried one hand in his hair, eyes wide, and let out a manic sort of half-laugh. 

In spite of his friend’s obvious good mood, Thor felt something within his chest clench slightly with anxiety at the thought. He hadn’t at all considered how they might receive Stark’s help, once it had been granted. And if Bruce didn’t have an option… 

“So he won’t help?” Thor ventured, and shook his head slightly in confusion. 

“Wha--No, no. He’ll help.” Bruce was quick to reassure, his expression sobering slightly at Thor’s tone. “He said he can be here in a few days.”

Thor felt his eyes widen. “Stark’s coming _here_?” 

“Didn’t I say that?” Bruce blinked, before he nodded hastily. “Yeah! I filled him in on some of what happened--not all of it, of course--and he told me that he’d be here by the end of the week.”

At the news, Thor felt his mouth widen into a bright grin, and he released a breathless chuckle, his head still reeling slightly with the information. 

It wouldn’t solve everything, certainly, but if Stark was willing to actually meet them and offer help--

It was a hopeful sign, to say the least. 

“That’s--” Thor chuckled again. “That’s great! Truly. Bruce, I--Thank you.” 

“It’s no worries.” Bruce shrugged dismissively. “I just can’t believe he actually got back to me. I mean, it’s been two _years_. I definitely wouldn’t have believed it was me.” 

At the words, Thor froze, and abruptly felt his good mood drain out of him almost entirely as the reality of the situation began to sink in. 

It had been two years. Two years since he had left Midgard in search of the Infinity Stones (and what a wasted journey _that_ had been, he recalled bitterly). 

Two years since he had seen Stark, or any of the other members of the team. 

Which meant… 

Unable to stop himself, Thor turned to cast an anxious glance over his shoulder to where Loki was still curled atop the bed closest to them, his features smooth with sleep, save for the small furrow between his brows. 

There was a time, Thor considered, where Loki would never have been capable of sleeping through such a conversation without rousing and promptly demanding to know what was going on. 

The thought did little to quell the worry churning in Thor’s gut, and, when he turned back to face Bruce again, a small frown was already working its way onto his face. 

“I, uh--I didn’t say anything about Loki.” Bruce murmured, seeming to read Thor’s thoughts before he could voice them. “Just told him that it was you and a couple others.” 

At the information, Thor exhaled a small, relieved breath. 

It wasn’t as if he didn’t trust Stark. However, it wasn’t as if Loki’s reputation on Earth, particularly among the Avengers team, was a very promising one. 

As it was, at the time he and Loki had last discussed it, Thor had been operating under the belief that they’d have longer than a week to decide what to do about his returning to Midgard at all. 

Now, it seemed that he’d only have a few days further before the decision was on their doorstep. 

“Do you think we should?” Bruce was saying, his tone almost hesitant. “Tell him, I mean.”

“Stark?” Thor inquired, “Or…” he trailed off, though the question was left hanging unspoken on the air between them. 

“Uh, both I guess.” Bruce shook his head slightly. 

Thor bit the inside of his cheek as he mulled the question over. 

He wouldn’t feel right, he considered, keeping the information from Stark. It wasn’t necessarily as if they were tricking him, by keeping the information vague, though it felt too similar to being just that for comfort. 

On the other hand, Thor couldn’t help but wonder if Stark would even remain willing to help them, were he informed of the truth of the situation. The thought made Thor’s stomach churn, though he could not afford to dismiss the possibility. 

And, as far as Loki was concerned… 

It was a lot of information to take in, Thor decided. Though Loki had hardly interacted with Tony, during his previous time spent on Midgard, it was clear by his demeanor and following commentary that he hardly held Stark, or any of Thor’s Midgardian friends, in particularly high regard. 

And, given his current state, Thor doubted that an unexpected visit would be well received. 

_Or any visit at all_ , he thought morosely. 

“I--I don’t think so.” Thor replied slowly, after another minute. “At least for now.” 

He grimaced apologetically, though Banner was already nodding in agreement. 

“I get it.” Bruce reassured. “It’s weird. I get that. Is he doing any better?” 

Grateful for the change in topic, Thor nodded a little. “The swelling has gone down some more.” he told Bruce, “Though he remains unable to speak.”

Bruce winced slightly, though he hastily offered a small smile. 

“That’s good!” he encouraged, “It might take some time, though--uh, hey, Loki!” 

Thor started, and felt his breath catch in his throat as Bruce raised a hand in a little wave, his gaze now trained over Thor’s shoulder. 

When Thor turned, he found Loki sitting up in bed, his eyes (almost entirely clear of the redness that had been filmed over them for days, now) wide and trained unwaveringly on Thor, though he offered a distracted sort of nod at Bruce’s greeting. 

Hastily swallowing back the guilt Thor could feel building within his chest, as if he was a child caught doing something he was not permitted to do, Thor forced an easy smile onto his face. 

“You’re up.” he greeted with a cheerful tone he did not feel. “Banner and--Bruce was--” 

“Just stopping by.” Bruce cut in, to Thor’s great relief. “To check on you, actually. How are you feeling?” 

There was a beat, and Loki kept his gaze trained on Thor for a moment so long Thor nearly began to fidget beneath the intensity of the stare. 

Then, Loki allowed his eyes to drop, his brows slightly furrowed, and shrugged a bit. 

At the clear dismissal, Thor opened his mouth, a gentle reprimand already on his tongue. 

Though it seemed that Loki had, for the time being, made peace with Banner’s presence, he’d remained more or less closed off with anyone but Thor himself, making little effort to meet Bruce’s eye or answer his inquiries, when prodded. 

A habit that had made it increasingly difficult for Bruce to track the progress of his recovery, much to Thor’s chagrin. 

(Not that his attempts to goad Loki into being more open and honest had gotten them anywhere, of course). 

Now, however, Bruce spoke up before Thor could speak the reprimand he felt like he’d repeated over a hundred times in the past week. 

“Come on,” Bruce was saying as he crossed the room to halt a few feet from the bed Loki was perched on. “I think we’ve gotten past that. Does anything hurt?” 

To say that Thor was impressed at the boldness Bruce had begun to display around his brother was an understatement, especially given the already tumultuous relationship between the two. 

Then again, Thor would concede that Loki was probably not exactly much of a threat to anyone, at the present moment. 

A fact that, more likely than not, did much to encourage Bruce’s seemingly newfound confidence. 

If Loki was surprised, he did not show it. Rather, he simply raised an unimpressed brow, though the effect of the expression was somewhat diminished by the way he kept his eyes pointedly averted. 

And, after another moment of Bruce staring him down, he shrugged again and raised a hand to place two fingers at the side of his throat, the tips hovering a scant few inches above the still puffy bruises there. 

“Your throat?” Bruce prodded.

Thor winced, though the information was hardly new. Loki’s throat had been paining him practically non stop since the altercation on the _Statesman_ , to no one’s surprise. 

However, this did not change the fact that Thor still felt his heart twist slightly at the small, barely perceptible nod Loki gave, now. 

“Okay,” Bruce, it seemed, had been expecting the news. “Tea might help. Or soup. Do you want any?” 

Loki shook his head quickly, and Thor felt irritation bubble within his chest at the sight, though he bit his tongue against the protest that wanted to form there. 

They could have that discussion later. 

“Alright,” Bruce shrugged, as if the answer didn’t affect him either way. “Does anything else hurt?” 

A beat, before Loki raised a hand to prod gently at his right temple. 

Thor frowned. While a headache wasn’t new, Loki had not complained of one for a few days, which made the fact that he was apparently in enough pain to share the information at all all the more worrying. 

Whether or not Bruce shared Thor’s concern was almost impossible to tell, though there was a slight tightness around his eyes when he turned to face Thor, again. 

“Give him some painkillers.” he instructed. “And keep an eye on the headache. I’m gonna head back to the library for a bit.”

Thor nodded. “Thank you, Bruce.”

Bruce returned the nod before turning to shoot Loki another look. 

“Let Thor know if the pain gets worse.” he reminded as he crossed the room back toward the door. 

Loki did not bother to acknowledge the command, and simply continued to study his knees, his expression nearly hidden behind where his curls had fallen into a curtain over his face. 

And, after waving a goodbye to Bruce, Thor sighed softly before moving forward to take a seat on the mattress beside his brother. 

“How are you, really?” he inquired, making certain to keep his tone low enough as to not cause Loki any further pain, were his headache more severe than he was letting on. 

To Thor’s increasing exasperation, Loki merely shrugged again before glancing up to meet his eye, his brow already furrowing in an unspoken question. 

Thor felt his pulse flutter nervously, though he forced his expression to remain neutral as he pressed, “Is the headache bad?” 

If the irritation creasing Loki’s features was anything to go by, his attempt at feigning ignorance had not been as successful as he had hoped. 

Particularly when Loki glanced impatiently between Thor and the door Bruce had recently disappeared out of with a pointed look. 

Were he to dodge the question now, Thor considered, it would have been inarguably obvious that he was hiding something. 

The thought made his stomach clench in guilt, and Thor hastily batted the sensation aside in favor of leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees with a small sigh. 

“He was just stopping by.” he reassured Loki, and sent up a quick prayer to anyone that might be listening that his brother’s normally impeccable ability to sniff out a lie might be clouded by the headache. “We needed to discuss how long we’re planning on staying. And how we might handle payment.” he tacked on, if only so the information didn’t feel entirely false. 

At the words, some anxiety creased Loki’s features, and he opened his mouth--

Only for his expression to abruptly darken with frustration, a scowl tugging at the corner of his lips. 

It was not an unfamiliar occurrence, though this did little to stop the surge of grief Thor felt at the sight. 

They were both still adjusting to this new, seemingly unthinkable reality of Loki being unable to offer counsel verbally. 

For as long as Thor had known him, Loki’s strength had lay in his words and his mind. And, while it was obvious that his mind was as sharp as it ever had been, Loki’s frustration at his newfound inability to bring life to those thoughts was becoming increasingly apparent. 

Thor fought the urge to reach out and offer comfort, now, as he was somewhat unsure as to whether or not the attempt would be well received. 

Especially considering the fact that Loki’s reactions to similar attempts at comfort, over the past week, had remained as unpredictable as ever, swinging drastically between his clinging desperately to Thor’s every move, or snarling and closing himself off when Thor got too close. 

It was frustrating and, at the same time, oddly comforting, given that Thor had long since grown familiar with Loki’s tendency to simultaneously strive for and avoid any sort of affection. 

It was this fact alone that stilled Thor’s hand, now, and he settled for leaning slightly closer to where Loki was hunched over, in order to press their shoulders warmly together. 

“It’ll be alright.” he muttered. And, though he kept his gaze trained pointedly on the toes of his boots, he watched from the corner of his good eye as Loki’s features twisted in a slightly miserable manner, at the words. “Truly. We’ll work this out.” 

When Loki did not make to even nod in reply, and instead simply shifted in order to draw his knees up to tuck them against his chest, Thor felt the guilt he had been swallowing back surge at the back of his throat again. 

For a brief moment, he was sorely tempted to inform Loki of everything he had discussed with Bruce. 

What harm could it cause, after all? He reasoned with himself that Loki might actually benefit from the information; might potentially be reassured by the news that they were one step closer to reuniting with their people. 

Or, at the very least, finding a way out of the situation at hand. 

The idea was tempting enough that Thor opened his mouth to do just that--

Only to falter when he turned, and his gaze landed on where Loki was hesitating, his lower lip caught between his teeth, before he fell forward to bury his face into the arms folded over his knees with a trembling sigh. 

It was a fragile, telling action, and one Thor knew Loki would not have given into with an audience, under any other circumstances. 

As it was, he knew for a fact that Loki would not have done so at all, were anyone other than Thor watching. 

It was the realization in itself that dried the confession on the tip of Thor’s tongue, and he exhaled something of a small sigh himself before he reached out to lay a gentle, hesitant hand on the tense muscles at Loki’s shoulder. 

_Soon_ , Thor told himself, _I’ll tell him soon_. 

“It’s alright,” he murmured, when Loki tensed further beneath his touch. 

There was a beat, before Loki seemingly made up his mind, and sucked in a sharp and wet sounding breath before he allowed himself to topple sideways and against Thor’s shoulder. 

Immediately, Thor raised a hand to cradle the back of his brother’s head gently, and was rewarded not a moment later by Loki burying his head into the space between his neck and shoulder. 

Were he able, Thor considered, Loki might have released something like a small, needy noise as he burrowed slightly closer. 

As it was, all Thor felt was a tremulous, warm exhale ghosting against the skin of his neck. 

“It’s alright,” Thor repeated, and swallowed again as he pressed his lips gently against the crown of Loki’s head. 

“It’ll be alright.” 

\---

The following afternoon, the sun hung proud and bright in a near cloudless sky, and Thor found that he had to squint as he led Loki along what had, more or less, become their routine walking route a few yards from the entrance to their room. 

While he had initially been torn, hesitant about the idea of bringing Loki outside at all, Thor had to admit now that he was glad that he had given in to Bruce’s insistence that some time outside of the tiny room they’d been holed up in would do Loki more good than harm. 

They didn’t wander far, most afternoons, given Thor’s own trepidation about drawing too much attention to themselves, coupled with Loki’s current tendency to tire easily. Therefore, Thor kept their small walks limited to the small dock at the edge of the fishing village, the inn within his line of sight at all times. 

Though the sun was out that afternoon, there was a definite chill to the air, and Thor felt himself frown at the way Loki shivered as the breeze hit his neck, bare beneath where Thor had insisted that he pull his hair into a loose bun in some semblance of a disguise. 

Not, Thor considered, that there was much of a chance of the two of them being recognized, now. Given his own lack of hair and a right eye, in fact, he was practically unrecognizable.

Initially, he had been a bit more worried about Loki, especially considering how quickly the Midgardian wizard Strange had seemed to have picked up on Loki’s presence on Earth, last time. 

After the first few days of no such disturbances, however, Thor had concluded that either Strange was too preoccupied with his various other Earth wizard duties, or that Loki’s current condition left him little enough of a threat that Strange had deigned to leave them be, for the time being. 

It was not necessarily a comforting thought, but Thor decided to take it as a win, anyway. 

“Are you cold?” he inquired when Loki shivered again, fingers itching to wrap a scarf or jacket around Loki’s frame that, though Thor knew it was unlikely, seemed to have grown more gaunt in the past few days than he had seen it in years. 

They hadn’t been able to procure any new clothes without drawing too much attention to themselves, and the leathers he and Loki had worn beneath their armour seemed almost pitifully ineffective, against the brittle afternoon wind. 

Immediately, Loki shook his head, though the dismissal was somewhat less believable when, not a moment later, another small shudder wracked his frame. 

Thor huffed, but decided not to comment, and simply took a step closer to his brother so that their shoulders might occasionally brush as they walked. 

Their walk was nearing an end, and Thor felt a pang of regret at the thought, given that little awaited them for the remainder of the afternoon but the four walls of their room, stuffy and underwhelming as they were. 

And, though he had not offered much complaint, Thor could tell that the inactivity was beginning to get to Loki, as well. 

“It’s one of the better days we’ve had.” Thor pointed out, and raised a hand to shield his eye as he squinted out toward the sunlight reflecting off the surface of the water. “Should we stay out a bit longer?” 

He still felt slightly foolish, keeping up a conversation and posing questions when Loki could not offer so much as offer a whisper in response. 

A fact that was not helped by the occasional flashes of irritation that creased Loki’s features when he did so. 

Nevertheless, Loki turned to glance at him now, his gaze flickering briefly over Thor’s face as if searching for something, before he glanced away to study the path before them with a small nod. 

It was a small reminder that, despite the frustrating nature of their current circumstances, they were trying, which was more than Thor would have ever dreamed to hope for, when this had all begun. 

Nevermind the fact that he wished that they weren’t in a situation that required them to _try_ at all. 

It was hardly a heartening line of thought, and certainly one Thor didn’t want to allow himself to dwell on too closely. Therefore, he found himself taking a deep, steadying breath, before leading Loki to the bench they had perched upon a number of times, over the past week, to catch their breath or simply enjoy the stillness of the afternoons that seemed almost unnaturally quiet, given the events their small group had narrowly escaped a scant few days before. 

Thor was opening his mouth to comment on what they might do with their evening (their options were, as it was, quite limited) when he caught sight of the door beside his and Loki’s slowly opening, and watched as Heimdall stepped out and blinked in the sunlight. 

There was a brief moment wherein the former Gatekeeper seemed to inhale deeply, before he shifted and turned his slightly unnerving gaze directly to where Thor was sitting. 

Immediately, Thor nodded in reply, and moved to stand in preparation to greet his friend--

Only to falter, his pulse stuttering slightly when he heard Loki shift automatically closer to him, as if preparing to follow. 

No doubt Heimdall would want to discuss the coming days, Thor realized distantly; including their plan and, ultimately, Stark’s arrival. 

He could picture Loki’s face, now, his mouth turned down into a sneer and his brow furrowed in righteous indignation and betrayal, at the discovery that Thor had kept such information from him. 

The idea made Thor’s stomach turn uncomfortably, and he quickly dismissed it.

No, he decided, now wasn’t the time. He’d rather have the opportunity to tell Loki the truth about the coming days when he could do it himself. 

Preferably without an audience. 

The thought firmly in mind, Thor paused before turning back to face Loki, and winced apologetically when his brother flinched slightly at the sudden movement. 

“Will you be alright here for a moment?” Thor questioned, only for his breath to catch in his throat in a mixture of guilt and surprise when a flicker of fear flashed over Loki’s features.

It would hardly have been the first time he had left his brother alone that week, though Thor would concede that it was usually only for a few minutes, and always within the relative safety of their own room. 

“I’m just going to talk to Heimdall for a moment.” Thor was quick to reassure, though Loki had already schooled his expression into something more curious than overtly frightened. “Stupid stuff. You should enjoy the sunshine!” 

The words were flimsy even to his own ears, and Thor fought the urge to wince again as Loki glanced briefly over Thor’s shoulder to where Heimdall was still stood, before he narrowed his eyes and turned that shrewd gaze on Thor himself. 

“It won’t be a moment.” Thor repeated, and forced an easy smile onto his face. “I’ll be right back.”

There was a beat, wherein which Loki continued to study him with an unreadable expression, before his features abruptly shuttered, and he leaned back to give Thor a long, cool look. 

Immediately, Thor felt a small chill run down his spine at the sight, and he had to swallow back several hasty excuses that wanted to fly off the tip of his tongue, in order to reverse whatever silent decision had clearly just been made. 

As it was, Loki simply shrugged, his expression still frighteningly neutral, before he turned to study the waves before them resolutely, his shoulders held carefully rigid as he turned his back almost entirely to Thor. 

Thor hesitated another moment, uneasiness swimming in his gut as he watched the wind whip the hairs coming loose from Loki’s bun about his face and the bruising along the sharp jut of his jaw, before he forced himself to stand and turn away to begin trekking toward where Heimdall was still standing, his arms crossed over his broad chest as he awaited Thor’s approach. 

One issue at a time, Thor reminded himself. 

“Heimdall,” Thor greeted as, with one anxious gaze cast back toward where Loki was still perched on the edge of the bench, he fell to a stop beside his friend. 

“Your Highness,” Heimdall nodded. “How fares the prince?” 

Thor shrugged and, long since having come to terms with the fact that he could not offer any lie to Heimdall that would not immediately be seen for what it was, exhaled a long sigh. 

“I’m not sure,” he replied, at length. “He still tires far too easily, and will not offer much by way of telling me how he feels.” 

“His ailment is not an easy one to bear.” Heimdall intoned. “Particularly for him.” 

Thor swallowed thickly. “Aye,” he agreed, before clearing his throat and continuing, “Bruce informed you of our new development, I take it?” 

“He did.” Heimdall told him, blessedly not commenting on the hasty change in subject. “He tells me that your mutual ally will arrive by tomorrow.” 

“That’s good news.” Thor replied, a little taken aback at the new information, though not unpleasantly. 

Bruce must have heard from Stark again, since Thor had last spoken to him the morning before. And, while an actual date of Tony’s arrival was not unwelcome, Thor could not ignore the pulse of anxiety he felt flutter within his stomach at the thought. 

Nor could he stop himself from casting another quick glance over his shoulder, if for nothing else than to reassure himself that Loki had not disappeared, sometime in the past few minutes. 

“You have not told him.” Heimdall was saying, causing Thor’s relieved exhale at finding Loki still on the bench to catch in his throat. 

“I--” he grimaced slightly as he turned back to face Heimdall’s somewhat thoughtful expression. “I don’t plan to keep it from him for long.” 

_Just as long as possible_ , a small voice at the back of his mind reminded. _As long as is comfortable for you._

“There’s an uneasy relationship, between this Stark and Prince Loki,” Heimdall replied, the words hardly a question. 

Still, Thor felt the need to give an answering nod. 

“You know of Loki’s previous time spent on Midgard?” he inquired lowly, after a moment. 

Heimdall blinked. “Only what I saw during your journey.” he informed tonelessly. 

Thor huffed slightly, and determined that it would be better not to mince words, at the present moment. 

“Stark fought alongside myself and a group of others to stop Loki.” he continued, “He was not a fan of my brother’s, and I suspect that Loki felt much the same. I would--” he hesitated, and took a moment to regather his thoughts. “I don’t want to overburden him right now. He’s already…” 

He trailed off, allowing the acknowledgement of Loki’s current condition to hang on the air between them, unspoken. 

It felt wrong, after all, to discuss it while Loki wasn’t even present to defend himself.

If Heimdall disapproved of Thor’s decision, nothing in his expression gave it away, though Thor almost wished he would, if only to give some definition to the jumble of conflicted emotions he could feel forming a knot within his chest. 

“Do you have any news?” Thor inquired as casually as possible, though he felt as if his impatience to move on to a new topic was painfully transparent. 

“My sight has improved much.” Heimdall informed, something almost like a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Though I’m as of yet unable to see the Valkyrie or what remains of our kingdom.” 

Thor swallowed back the grief he felt surge within his chest at the words, and forced himself to nod. 

Chances were that what remained of Asgard’s people were still too far for Heimdall to see, Thor reminded himself, given his still healing injuries and the great outpouring of power it had taken to transport the four of them to Midgard by Bifrost. 

There was no reason, therefore, to begin worrying himself over other potential reasons the group might not be easily identifiable within Heimdall’s sight, at present. 

Not yet, anyway. 

“I will inform you as soon as there is a change.” Heimdall told him, no doubt sensing the impact his words had had. 

As it was, where once Thor might have been irritated or ashamed at the idea of his own weakness being so openly on display, he could not find it within himself to feel anything but resignation at the idea, now. 

“Thank you, Heimdall.” Thor smiled tightly. “As always, your counsel is appreciated.” 

“I only hope that there is better news, soon.” Heimdall replied, before turning to face the waterfront with a sharp inhale. “Your brother waits for you.” 

Thor blinked, and turned to follow Heimdall’s gaze to where Loki was still sat upon the bench where Thor had left him, his back held ramrod straight and head turned pointedly away. 

To Thor, it did not seem that he had so much as shifted since he had sat down, though he assumed that Heimdall was capable of seeing more than that. 

That, or he could sense Loki’s ire from where they were stood just as well as Thor could, if not better. 

The thought did little to encourage Thor, though he turned in preparation to trek back to Loki’s side, all the same. 

Ignoring Loki’s obvious irritation, after all, had never been a feat easily achieved. 

A fact that was not at all hindered by his silence, it seemed. 

\---

Loki was ignoring him. 

It hadn’t been obvious, at first. On the contrary, he had seemed almost compliant when Thor had returned to his perch on the bench, before suggesting that they head back into the warmth of their rooms, rather than remain out in the chill. 

And, though he hadn’t offered more than the occasional nod or shrug in reply to the steady stream of commentary Thor had maintained as they reapproached the inn, he had not seemed to display any outward signs of animosity, either. 

It wasn’t until they had reentered their room, and Thor had safely shut and latched the door behind them, that Loki had truly closed himself off and shut down. 

That had been nearly three hours before, and Thor was rapidly approaching the end of his rope, the longer Loki continued to refuse to acknowledge his presence. 

“At least let me know how you’re feeling?” Thor practically pleaded, though he knew even begging would do little good, at this point. 

Bruce had left not long before, after several unsuccessful attempts to get Loki to either admit to any new symptoms or update them on how he was doing. 

It wasn’t the first time Loki had refused to interact with Banner, though Thor had typically been able to get at least a few answers out of him, when it was just the two of them. 

Now, the fact that Loki had, if possible, become even more sullen and withdrawn, following Bruce’s departure, made Thor’s stomach clench with anxiety. 

“Will you tell me what’s wrong?” Thor demanded, and felt irritation bubble within his chest when Loki simply hunched his shoulders further and glanced away to pointedly study the wall beside his bed. 

With a huff of an exhale, Thor crossed the room from where he had been stood, hovering in the middle of the kitchenette and debating whether or not a cup of tea might help temper the situation, to round the bed and insert himself forcibly into Loki’s line of sight. 

“I’m not going away.” he reminded, though he took care to take careful note of the irritable scowl set on Loki’s features now. “Not until you tell me what’s bothering you.” 

The second the words were out, Thor caught his mistake, though it was already far too late to take them back. 

Especially considering the way Loki’s eyes widened fractionally in shock, before he abruptly stood and took a step closer to Thor with a silent snarl. 

He paused for a moment, then, his nose mere inches from Thor’s own and breaths hot and quick as they fanned across Thor’s face, and made an aborted gesture with one hand as he opened his mouth wordlessly. 

_I **can’t**_ , Thor could practically hear him snap, before he turned swiftly on one heel to stalk toward the bathroom, leaving Thor with little choice but to watch him disappear, his heart in his throat and guilt pooling in his gut.

Not the least of all for his previous words. 

For, after all, it was nothing more than pure foolishness to play like he was ignorant to the real reason behind Loki’s suddenly ill temper. 

Loki had, since he was practically an infant, always detested having something intentionally hidden from him; had seemed almost able to sense it, like a hunting dog sniffing out its prey. 

A tendency that, Thor was sure, had not at all been improved by the events and revelations of the past few years. 

And Thor, who had been well familiar with this fact since childhood, was doing exactly that -- willfully, in fact, hiding something from his brother, and with little excuse. 

With a small sigh, Thor allowed himself to sink into the seat Loki had recently vacated and buried his face in his hands, one thumb coming up automatically to rub at the tight skin around his eyepatch. 

From the other side of the now undoubtedly locked bathroom door came the unmistakable sound of something being struck viciously, and Thor exhaled softly again at the sound. 

_Tomorrow_ , he told himself firmly, then. 

Tomorrow morning he would inform Loki of Stark’s impending arrival. This would give him time to, hopefully, calm Loki, who would likely be furious at the news, and reassure him of the necessity of the development. 

What alternative did they have, after all? 

\---

Some time later, Thor was back in the middle of the kitchenette, watching with a somewhat listless gaze as the kettle at the corner of the countertop began to boil. 

If Loki wasn’t going to accept any tea, Thor reasoned, he might as well get some use out of it. 

The admittedly weakly vindictive thought brought little pleasure, and Thor found his gaze lifting almost magnetically back toward the still firmly closed bathroom door for what felt like the millionth time in the past hour. 

Since his explosive departure earlier that afternoon, Loki had not yet re-emerged from the small room. 

In fact, Thor might have been more worried than he already was (would probably already have broken the door down entirely), were it not for the faint, harsh breaths he could hear coming from the other side of the door, slightly wheezing, but painstakingly even. 

Thor knew the sound well enough to know that Loki was still attempting to calm himself down. He also knew, from unfortunate past experiences, that interrupting Loki or encroaching on his space, during such moments, would likely not end well for either of them. 

So, despite everything within him willing him to do the opposite, Thor had forced himself to remain far from the bathroom, instead occupying himself with studying the cracked and molded patches of the ceiling above Loki’s bed and, when that had gotten boring, preparing himself a cup of tea. 

He knew, rationally, that he should probably eat something. One glance out the small window beside the door confirmed that the sun had set some time ago, and Thor had not bothered to eat since his quick breakfast of instant oatmeal that morning. 

In spite of this, Thor found that he hardly had an appetite, at present, the knots that had begun to tighten within his stomach since his disastrous conversation with Loki earlier making it difficult to consider even his cup of tea. 

A soft movement from the other side of the bathroom door drew Thor roughly from his musings, and he found himself turning automatically toward the source of the noise, his pulse beginning to hammer within his throat when he registered that he could no longer hear Loki’s deliberately even breaths. 

He was opening his mouth to call out, his feet already shifting in preparation to approach the closed door, when the sound of something slamming forcefully into the wall interrupted him, followed almost immediately by what sounded like metal wrenching and, seconds later, a heavy _thud_. 

“Loki!” Thor did cry out, then, and in two quick strides was outside the bathroom, his fist already raised and rapping firmly on the door. “What was that? Are you alright?” 

Unsurprisingly, he received no reply, though not a moment later there was another thud, and a rattling sound that echoed loudly even through the wood of the door. 

“Loki!” Thor called again, his heart hammering as his free hand rattled uselessly at the doorknob. “Open the door!” 

There was a beat of silence, then, almost suffocating in its stillness following the prior commotion, before Thor caught the sound of Loki exhaling shakily--

Then, unmistakably, the sound of something being shattered. 

Thor’s breath caught in his throat and, uncaring now if he damaged anything (he had a sinking feeling that that might be the least of their worries), he twisted the doorknob beneath his grip violently, and rammed into the door with the brunt of his shoulder. 

Almost immediately, the lock gave way with a sharp _crack_ , and Thor was sent stumbling into the room, nearly falling to the floor with the momentum. 

The sight his gaze finally landed on, however, was enough to stop him in his tracks.

There were two obvious holes in the wall to his right, each big enough that it was not difficult to determine that Loki had used his fists to deliver them. Beside this, the towel rod that had been bolted to the wall had been wrenched free, and was currently lying in the corner of the bathtub, covered by the shower curtain had been yanked from where it had previously been hung around the bath. 

The sight that had Thor nearly staggering in a sort of dizzy panic, however, was the now shattered mirror above the sink, glittering in the flickering light of the room, and Loki--

Loki, hunched in the corner of it all, eyes wide and distant and hands clenched and trembling visibly around two fistfuls of bloody glass. 

“Loki,” Thor croaked, and fell forward so that he was knelt at his brother’s side, eyes wide with horror and hands already halfway outstretched between the two of them, though he was entirely uncertain as to exactly what he intended to do with them. 

If Loki noticed his presence, he did not react. Rather, his wide and frighteningly blank eyes remained trained on something Thor could not see in the corner, his breaths leaving him in rattling, unsteady pants.

The sound did little to alleviate Thor’s panic, and he forced himself to take a deep breath before leaning forward in an attempt to capture Loki’s wayward gaze. 

“Loki?” he inquired, his voice trembling far more than he would have liked. “Can you look at me?” 

If anything, Loki’s eyes, half hidden behind the curtain of unruly curls that had come almost entirely undone, only grew more distant at the words, flickering uncertainly back and forth over the thin shards of glass scattered over the tile beneath them. 

“Hey,” Thor prodded, forcing himself to keep his tone as low and soothing as he possibly could. “Shh. It’s alright.” 

Without allowing himself another moment to rethink the decision, Thor allowed one of his hands to extend further, and hesitated only another brief second, before he allowed it to fall to rest on one of Loki’s badly trembling knees, where they were tucked tightly against his chest. 

It was as if a switch had been flipped. Almost immediately, Loki started violently, his wide eyes snapping up to meet Thor’s as he inhaled a sharp, desperate sort of gasp. 

He reeled back, then, with enough force to slam into the wall behind, though this did little to stop him from attempting to writhe away from Thor’s touch as if it physically burned him. 

And, to Thor’s horror, his hands began to tighten on the chunks of glass he still clutched, fresh blood already beginning to bubble from new lacerations there. 

“Loki!” Thor cried, quickly removing his hand from Loki’s knee in favor of reaching out to gently cup his brother’s trembling hands, his stomach turning sickeningly at the slick and warm blood beneath his touch. “Loki, stop!” 

When the harsh command only caused Loki to flinch visibly again, his breaths only gaining speed, Thor grimaced and forced himself to take another deep, steadying breath as he withdrew his touch. 

“Loki,” he began again, quieter now, “Can you open your hands for me?” 

At the words, something like confusion furrowed Loki’s brow, and he glanced down to where his bloodied hands were quivering atop his knees. 

Almost immediately, his eyes widened, his mouth opening and closing in a silent gape, before he slowly, almost detachedly, opened both hands and allowed the glass within each palm to tumble noisily to the ground below. 

Time seemed to slow, then, as the two of them watched in something almost like fascination as fresh blood welled in either of Loki’s palms, before beginning to dribble sickeningly over the tile and glass. 

For a brief moment, Thor was vaguely fearful that he might be sick. 

Then, before he could quite react, Loki scrambled unsteadily to his feet and, with a brief and almost painfully fearful glance cast in Thor’s direction, staggered out of the room entirely. 

Another scant few seconds passed, wherein which Thor found that he could not quite drag his gaze away from the blood speckled over the cool green of the tile beneath his knees, before a dull _thud_ sounded from outside the room, and he snapped back to reality with a sickening lurch. 

By the time Thor made it to his feet and outside the bathroom, one armchair in the main room was already overturned, and Loki was proceeding to tear one of the cabinet doors in the kitchenette off of its hinges, his mouth pulled back into a wordless shout and tears streaking over the two spots of color high on his cheekbones. 

“No,” Thor managed to choke out, and fell forward to immediately wrap both arms into a tight vice around Loki’s shoulders. “Loki, _no_.” 

Loki stilled at the sudden and unexpected contact, before he began to thrash in earnest, the heels of his boots digging into the floor as he fought Thor’s hold. 

Ordinarily, Thor considered, he might have been thrown off by the desperate, panicked strength. 

As it was, Loki was already beginning to weaken obviously, his breaths harsh and hot as they fanned over Thor’s collar. 

With a small cry, Thor tightened his hold, and could not find it within himself to feel ashamed at the tears he could feel wetting his own cheek as Loki’s forehead thrashed miserably against his neck.

“Shh.” he soothed again, ignoring the sharp pain in his shins where Loki had begun to kick out fruitlessly. “Shh shh. You’re alright. _Breathe_ , Loki.” 

Loki’s shoulders tensed, before he let out a breathless sort of sob and fell heavier into Thor’s arms, though he did not still entirely. 

“That’s it.” Thor crooned, and began to rock the two of them a little frantically. “In and out. Just breathe.” 

To his dismay, it seemed that Loki’s breaths only grew more frantic, and he released a wet sounding cough before practically collapsing against Thor’s side. 

Determining quickly not to waste the precious stillness, Thor hastened to bundle Loki against his shoulder and practically dragged him toward the bed they had been sharing. 

To his relief, a majority of the fight seemed to have drained from Loki, and he allowed himself to be deposited onto the mattress, before Thor quickly fell to his knees beside him and reached for one of the pillows at the head of the bed with a trembling hand. 

“There,” he murmured distractedly as he quickly tugged the pillowcase off of the cushion and began to tear it into long, thick strips. “You’re alright. It’s alright, Loki.” 

From where he was sat above him, Loki continued to choke on ugly, breathless sobs, his chest heaving visibly with the force of them as more fat tears began to streak down his face from wide, frantic eyes. 

“Shh.” Thor repeated, before reaching forward to begin hastily wrapping the strips of linen in his lap tightly around Loki’s bloodied palms and knuckles. “I’ve got you. I’m here.” 

Almost as soon as Thor had tied off the last of the makeshift bandages, Loki drew his hands back toward himself, his jaw beginning to quiver almost imperceptibly as his eyes flickered unsteadily over what seemed to be anything but Thor. 

Thor felt his heart twist slightly at the sight, and he could not quite stop himself from standing from his crouch to perch hesitantly on the mattress beside Loki. 

“Hey,” he murmured, and reached out to rest one hand on the side of Loki’s head and gently guide him so he had little option but to meet Thor’s eye. “I’m right here. You’re alright.” 

There was a beat, before Loki’s expression crumbled, and he curled forward with a sharp inhale. 

Slowly, slightly fearful that he might startle him, Thor drew Loki forward so that his forehead was pressed against his shoulder, and turned to bury his face in the curls at the side of his head with a slightly unsteady sigh of his own. 

“I’m here.” he repeated, when Loki surged forward to press feverishly closer. “Hey, hey. I’m here. Shh. I’m right here.” 

They stayed like that for another few minutes, Loki slowly beginning to draw in more even breaths that fanned warmly against Thor’s neck with each exhale as Thor continued to murmur quiet reassurances. 

After an indeterminable amount of time, Loki’s breaths had evened almost entirely, and Thor released a long, relieved sort of breath, before he shifted in preparation to reposition the two of them back against the wall behind the bed. 

It was to his great surprise, therefore, that Loki shifted before he could move any further, and leaned back to peer blearily at Thor’s face through puffy and narrowed eyes, his expression almost entirely unreadable. 

There was a beat, so long that Thor opened his mouth to offer something (though as to whether it was comfort or a question, he wasn’t entirely certain), before Loki tensed all at once, and drew further away so that he was balanced on the other end of the mattress, at least a foot of space between them. 

Thor blinked at the sudden shift, and felt something within his stomach curdle when Loki pointedly averted his gaze, his shoulders held tense and stiff as he continued to breath carefully and evenly through his clogged nose. 

“Loki?” Thor prodded, gently, only to nearly startle when Loki lurched backward and off the bed entirely, his eyes still held carefully trained on the wall to his right as he took another, small step backward. 

It was then that Thor realized, belatedly, what was happening, and he prepared himself to voice his protest (or, at the very least, his disappointment) as he watched Loki fall back another step--

Before he inhaled another sharp breath, and turned on his heel to all but fall onto the bed before opposite Thor’s own. 

The bed he had not occupied in nearly a week; not, at the very least, since the night they had actually begun to communicate (voiceless or no), and Loki had clung so tightly to Thor following his being helped out of the bath, trembling and uncertain, that it had seemed almost natural for them both to curl into Thor’s bed and remain as near to each other as possible, through the remainder of the near painfully quiet evening. 

Loki’s making the deliberate choice tonight, therefore, to isolate himself and purposefully avoid Thor’s company, sent a bolt of pain through Thor’s chest so unexpected that he nearly doubled over with the force of it. 

“Loki?” Thor could not quite stop himself from exhaling the final, pitifully weak whisper as he watched Loki curl further in on himself, his back to Thor and his shoulders quivering visibly even now. 

The sight did nothing to quell the uneasiness churning within Thor’s gut, though he forced himself to lean back against his own pillows, rather than crossing the room and reaching out to comfort, as every fibre of his being seemed to be screaming at him to do. 

He would give Loki his space, he decided as he listened to the sound of his brother’s still vaguely unsteady breathing. For now, at the very least.

It would, he knew, do little good for either of them, to push Loki when he did not wish to be pushed. 

And, if any sort of luck was on their side, Loki might calm enough after a few hours sleep, for Thor to adequately prepare him for what the following day would bring. 

Not, Thor considered miserably as he prepared himself for a long, sleepless evening, that it felt as if any sort of luck had been on their side for a long, long while. 

\---

To Thor’s surprise, he managed to drift into an uneasy sleep sometime around the clock on the bedside table reading 3:30 A.M., the sound of Loki’s harsh, thin sort of breaths following him into sleep, and did not reawaken until the sunlight streaming in from the window by the door roused him a number of hours later. 

Thor groaned slightly as he blinked back into wakefulness, and allowed himself to scrub a weary hand over his face, before the events of the evening before caught up with him in a rush, and he abruptly froze, before quickly turning to face Loki’s bed. 

His pulse calmed somewhat when he was immediately able to track the slow rising and falling of Loki’s shoulders as he breathed, and he took a moment to exhale a long sigh of his own. 

The relief, however, was short lived, for not a moment later Thor felt himself frown as he noticed the unsteady, rattling sort of edge to Loki’s breaths, and the way his shoulders continued to tremble faintly even in sleep. 

His frown deepening, Thor quickly stood from his own bed, and crossed the space between them in two short strides to hover over Loki’s prone form. 

Almost immediately, he felt his throat dry in terror. 

What he could see of Loki’s face beneath his curtain of untidy hair was frighteningly grey, the corners of his lips tinged almost blue as his breaths left him in thin gasps. 

“Loki!” Thor cried, alarm causing his heart to leap again when he noticed the way one of Loki’s hands had risen in sleep to clench loosely at the fabric of his tunic at his chest. “Loki, wake up.” 

Unsurprisingly, Loki did not wake up. The space between his brows, however, did furrow slightly, though whether it was out of pain or irritation at his being disturbed, Thor could not tell. 

“Loki,” Thor repeated, rather than wait to find out, and reached out to prod hesitantly at Loki’s limp shoulder. “ _Loki_ ,” 

To his immense relief, the furrow between Loki’s brows deepened slightly, before his eyelids fluttered and he opened his eyes to peer at Thor with a frown. 

“Thank the Norns,” Thor breathed, allowing his eye to slide shut for a brief moment before he returned his attention entirely to Loki. 

“Loki,” he continued, “What hurts?” 

He did not bother to ask if Loki was alright, nor how he was feeling, for it was painfully obvious that both questions would have been little more than redundant, at this point. 

And, when Loki merely shook his head slightly at the question, before his gaze fell from Thor’s to study the wall behind him listlessly, Thor felt his pulse beginning to speed in concern, again. 

A fact that was not at all helped by the way Loki would still not meet his eyes, when Thor shook him again, nor by the breathless, pained sort of quality each of his inhales had taken on. 

“Hey,” Thor insisted, his gut churning slightly when the corners of Loki’s eyes and mouth merely tightened in what was undoubtedly pain. “Stay with me. _Look_ at me.” 

In reply, Loki’s eyelids only trembled and, to Thor’s horror, his next inhale was inarguably more of a rattle than anything. 

“ _No_ ,” Thor breathed, “Loki, please. Please, Loki.” he gasped, and blinked back the stinging behind his good eye as his hand tightened on Loki’s shoulder. “ _Please_ , breathe.” 

Loki only continued to gasp breathlessly at the words, though Thor was doubtful that he had even heard them, at this point. 

For a moment, fear made the room spin dizzyingly around him, and Thor had to fight the urge to curl forward and simply weep in terror and frustration. 

He forced himself to swallow thickly, however, before he leaned back in preparation to get to his feet. 

He could not fix this, he realized distantly, as much as it pained him to admit to the fact. 

And, as much as everything within him was protesting the idea of leaving Loki alone as he continued to weakly battle the tug of unconsciousness, Thor knew that he had to fetch Bruce now. 

( _Before it’s too late_ , the sharp, sickening voice at the back of his mind reminded). 

The thought firmly in mind, Thor gave Loki’s shoulder one last squeeze and leaned forward to press a firm kiss to the warm skin of his forehead. 

“I’ll be right back.” he whispered fervently, his pulse stuttering slightly when, at the words, the awareness in Loki’s eyes flickered weakly back to life, and he raised his gaze to lock searchingly onto Thor’s own. 

_Hold on_ , Thor did not say, and instead offered one final, weak smile, before he prepared himself to stand--

Only for the rattling of the front door to cause him to freeze, his stomach twisting as he caught sight of Loki’s frightened gaze snapping toward the source of the noise. 

“--all I’m saying is that there are definitely some significant puzzle pieces missing from your story.” a snippet of conversation from outside carried into the room, and Thor had only a split second to place the near-unfamiliar voice in his mind, before his heart leapt to his throat in something like panic as the door swung open behind him. 

“I just want to--” abruptly, the words cut off and, when Thor finally forced himself to turn to face the intrusion, he was met with none other than Tony Stark’s wide eyed, stunned expression. 

“--ny, wait!” Bruce’s voice sounded, then, before the man himself staggered to a halt just behind Tony, his expression equal parts exasperated and panicked. “You--Oh.” 

For a long moment, the occupants of the room simply studied each other, Stark’s gaze flitting disbelievingly between Thor and the figure over his shoulder, his mouth opening and closing in an undignified gape. 

Then, from behind Thor, Loki inhaled a sharp, shocked breath, and all Hel promptly broke loose. 

“What the hell?” Tony gasped, and staggered back a bewildered step as his eyes widened impossibly further. “Br--Thor, what the _fuck_?” 

Not taking the time to heed Stark’s exclamation, Thor turned back to where Loki was beginning to scramble back and against the headboard of the bed, his eyes nearly as wild and trained entirely on Stark as his breaths began to speed alarmingly. 

“Loki,” Thor warned, and moved forward to grip both of Loki’s hands beneath his own where he was using them to push himself further away from the group. “Loki, calm down.” 

“He’s dead!” Tony was saying as he whipped his head wildly between Bruce and Thor. “Wasn’t he dead? You definitely told me he was dead.” 

“It’s kind of an off and on thing, I think.” Bruce muttered distractedly, before he moved quickly forward into the room so that he was hovering uncertainly at Thor’s side. 

“That doesn’t sound good.” he commented, when Loki’s reedy breaths only became more frantic at the proximity. “What happened?” 

“I don’t--Loki!” Thor cried, and wrapped one hand firmly around his brother’s elbow when Loki nearly toppled off the edge of the bed. “I don’t know! His breathing is worse.” 

True to form, Loki’s next inhale was little more than a gurgle, and Thor felt his stomach swoop in terror at the sound. 

“That’s not good.” Bruce repeated on a mutter, and fell into a crouch beside the bed a moment later. “His breaths sound wet--Loki! Can you hear me?” 

“Um, hello?” Tony’s voice cut in before Loki could so much as react.

Immediately, both Bruce and Loki’s eyes snapped back to where Tony was now speaking, again, still at the other end of the room by the door. “Am I just not gonna get the backstory on how Rock of Ages is still, y’know, rocking?” 

At the words, Loki’s eyes widened impossibly further, and he attempted to scramble further back, again, his eyes flickering between Stark and Thor with an almost betrayed sort of glint behind them. 

Thor felt his stomach sink slightly at the sight, though the sensation was quickly replaced by a surge of irritation when he heard Tony take a step further into the room, and Loki immediately reeled back, again. 

“Stark,” Thor growled lowly, before turning to face where the man watching them carefully. “I assure you that my brother means no harm. Not to you, and not to anyone.” 

He let the words hang heavily on the air between them for a moment, before adding, lowly, “But if you so much as try to take him from me, I promise you that you will live to regret it.” 

There was a beat, before the disbelief on Tony’s face made way for something more like hesitation, his brows furrowed as he continued to eye Loki warily, his gaze almost distant. 

Then, Loki let out a sickeningly ragged sort of cough, and Stark’s features abruptly smoothed into what could only be described as determination. 

“Of course,” he muttered, more to himself than anything, before he swept smoothly forward to kneel at Bruce’s side. 

“What’s wrong with him?” Stark demanded, and, when Thor did not immediately answer the inquiry, he continued impatiently, “I’m not gonna take him from you, but he needs medical help. What happened?” 

Stark’s tone was just sharp enough to draw Thor’s attention from where Loki’s gaze had begun to go cloudy and distant again, and he turned to face Tony with an unsteady exhale. 

“He was strangled.” he managed to admit, the words tasting like ash on his tongue. “His--his throat was crushed.” 

“Yeah, but that was almost a week ago.” Bruce added, though his brow was furrowed in uncertainty. “He shouldn’t--He’s been--” 

Though Tony’s features had gone stony at the information, he seemed to shake himself before he turned to face Loki again, and extended one hand to reach out wordlessly. 

“I would not touch his neck.” Thor warned quickly, unable to help the way he tugged Loki’s now almost entirely limp form protectively closer to himself. 

At the words, something almost like pity flashed over Tony’s face, before he nodded tightly and leaned forward so that his head was tilted forward, his ear inches from the unsteady rising and falling of Loki’s chest. 

“He’s drowning.” Stark declared almost immediately, and abruptly got to his feet. “I don’t know why.” he interrupted, when both Bruce and Thor opened their mouths to protest. “But he needs a hospital. Now.” 

Something like cold dread settled at the pit of Thor’s stomach at the words, and he automatically tightened his hold on Loki when he bucked weakly against his side, the edges of his features going impossibly paler as he gasped again.

“I--” Thor stammered, and distantly registered that his hands had begun to shake badly. “He--”

“I have a car.” Tony informed, quickly. “I’ll drive. Can you get him there?” 

Something about the clipped, precise tone calmed Thor somewhat, and he managed a firm nod, before he turned to scoop Loki’s form into his arms. 

“The hospital’s a 20 minute walk from here.” Bruce was informing Tony, though Thor hardly heard the words, his focus almost entirely on settling his brother more comfortably within the cradle of his arms, before he hastily began to follow the two out of the room. 

“You need to hang on.” he murmured as he watched Loki’s eyelids flutter again. “Just a bit longer, Loki.” 

He forced himself not to think about how they would even afford a hospital, or whether or not Stark might make any effort to turn Loki in, after this was over. 

Instead, Thor kept gaze trained firmly on Loki’s waxen features, and offered a small, comforting smile as he fell into the car door Bruce held open for them, and Loki’s eyes briefly found his, again. 

“It’s alright,” Thor whispered, even as Loki’s eyes fluttered entirely closed as Stark began speeding down the road. 

With a small, sharp bark of a sob, Thor allowed himself the small comfort of curling forward to press his lips firmly to Loki’s forehead. 

“Stay with me.” 

\---

Three hours later, Thor sat hunched in an uncomfortable plastic chair, one arm wrapped tightly around his middle and red-rimmed eyes trained unwaveringly on where Loki was laid out on a bed before him, finally breathing evenly with the aid of a plastic tube that had been unceremoniously shoved down his throat some time before. 

When they had arrived at the hospital, one look at Loki curled in Thor’s arms and breathing shallowly, coupled with a sharp command from Stark, had brought the staff all but sprinting forward to their aid. 

Initially, Thor had stumbled back a hesitant step at the commotion, clutching Loki tighter to his chest as a number of individuals attempted to extract him from his arms and lay him out on a stretcher that had been hastily wheeled in. 

Only Bruce’s hand on his back, and a gently whispered assurance that he could remain with Loki (one cold look from Stark silencing anyone who dared argue the point), had convinced Thor to release his hold, though he had kept a hand clutched tightly around one of Loki’s even as he had been whisked away to a private room. 

What had followed had been something of a blur. 

Loki had been hooked up to a number of machines almost immediately, the sleeves of his shirt hastily pushed up to allow room for multiple needles to be pressed into the skin of his arms. 

There had been a startlingly clear moment, amongst the chaos, where one of the nurses had caught sight of the bloodied fabric wrapped around Loki’s limp hands, and cast a wary look at Thor before moving to hastily rebandage the wounds. 

Things had seemed to reach a peak when, following an urgent call from one of the individuals, Loki had seized, once, before beginning to cough up a mouthful of fluid. 

Some of which, to Thor’s abject horror, had seemed to be clumps of blood. 

Following this, the plastic tube had quickly been jammed between Loki’s still grey-ish lips and down his throat, at which point it seemed that little more could be done but to wait for an improvement. 

That had been hours before, and Thor had found himself almost alone at Loki’s bedside the entire time, save for the occasional nurse; Banner and Stark having disappeared sometime in the interim. 

The silence, beyond the steady beeping of the machines beside the bed, made Thor feel both restless and anxious, and he had found himself alternating between rocking slowly back and forth where he was sat, and swallowing back the nausea that had begun to grow steadily at the back of his throat since the moment they had stepped into the room. 

All the while, however, his hand had not moved from where it was wrapped tightly around Loki’s own. 

What had he missed, he could not help but wonder. He had thought that Loki had been improving--

At least, as much as he could have, given the circumstances. 

Regardless, the events of the past week hadn’t at all indicated that they might have ended up here; Loki laid out limply before him, and only capable of breathing with the help of a machine. 

The thought made Thor sick, and he knew that Loki would have felt overwrought with shame, were he at all aware of what was going on around him. 

The sound of the door behind him being drawn open startled Thor out of his reverie, and he turned in mild surprise to find Stark lingering uncertainly in the doorway. 

“How’s baby brother?” he inquired, after a beat, and seemingly recovered himself enough to stride forward to take the empty seat to Thor’s left. 

Only the lingering tension in his shoulders, and the almost imperceptible tightness around his eyes, gave away the hesitance he was clearly still feeling. 

Thor found that he did not quite have it within him to smile at the new company, though he did not frown, either. 

“As well as can be expected, I suppose.” he finally replied, and shrugged weakly before turning back to study Loki’s pale face. 

Loki’s mechanical, forcibly even breaths hissed exactly five times, before Stark finally replied. 

“Bruce kind of filled me in.” he told Thor, his tone held low and carefully casual. “Something about gladiator fights? Guy in a bathrobe? I like the haircut, by the way. Very Cyndi Lauper.” 

When Thor did not reply, his gaze remaining fixed pointedly ahead, Tony inhaled quietly before continuing, “And, uh--And Asgard. I’m sorry about that.” 

Something within Thor turned unpleasantly at the words, an innate reaction to the sympathy he found he didn’t at all want, and he hunched a bit further in on himself before replying, “It’s fine.” 

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Tony’s features stretch into an exaggerated grimace and, somehow, the sight made him feel marginally better. 

“He also told me about Thanos.” Tony continued, then, and Thor felt what small shred of good humor he might have held abruptly vanish. 

If Tony sensed the shift, he did not comment. Instead, he narrowed his eyes slightly, and was silent for another long moment. 

“Bruce told me this guy--he called him a plague--he told me that he sent Loki. Back in New York.” Before Thor could quite register the words, Tony was leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees, his head craning in an attempt to meet Thor’s eye. “That true?” 

Thor considered the question for a moment, his mind already going back to the image of Loki stood resolutely before the Titan, steady but for the faint quivering of his jaw and ankles, with his face bathed in the unnatural blue glow of the Tesseract. 

_(“If you consider failure experience…”_ )

( _Loki struggling in the Titan’s grip…_ ) 

(“ _Destiny arrives…”_ )

“I don’t know.” Thor forced himself to grit out, and found that he had to bite his lip fiercely to stop the sudden rush of tears that wanted to burst forth from his chest. 

“I don’t know.” 

Something of his emotions must have shown on his face, for not a moment later Stark was leaning closer and placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. 

“Hey, it’s fine.” he reassured, a little frantically. “I told you I wasn’t gonna take him from you, and I meant it. Promise.” 

Hardly daring to believe the words, Thor turned abruptly to face Tony’s small, almost sheepish sort of smile. 

“What?” he breathed.

“As far as I’m concerned, he’s cool.” Tony told him, then grimaced slightly again. “Well, not quite cool. I’m still on the fence about the whole ‘Imprison the Entirety of Earth’ thing, but families can be tough. I get it. And,” he hesitated, and cast a quick glance at where Loki was laid out on the bed. “Well, he doesn’t really look like he’s gonna be feeling up to taking over anything, anytime soon.” 

Thor was already nodding hastily in agreement. 

“I assure you, Stark.” he was quick to reply. “Things are different. He’s…” 

He trailed off, though Tony offered something like a knowing smirk at the silence. 

“Yeah, Banner told me that, too.” he informed, before clapping both hands onto his knees and standing. “Big hero now, huh?” 

Thor could not help but chuckle at that, though he had a distinct feeling that Loki would have scowled at the words. 

“It would seem so.” he replied, and felt his own smile widen when Stark shot him a lazy grin. 

“We’re gonna have to work on the uniform, in that case.” Tony declared, before turning on one heel to begin striding back toward the door. “The horns aren’t gonna cut it for me.” 

“I’ll be sure to inform him.” Thor promised with a low nod. 

“I’ll hold you to it.” Tony replied and, as he reached the door, hesitated another moment before turning to shoot Thor a more solemn look. 

“You okay?” he inquired, after a beat. 

Thor paused, mulling the words over carefully as his thumb stroked at the skin of Loki’s hand beneath his own. 

“I think we will be.” he answered, finally, and as truthfully as he could manage. 

The words seemed to be enough for Stark, however, who simply nodded curtly in reply. 

“Right,” he agreed. “Try and get some sleep. I’ll swing back through in the morning. Oh,” he poked his head back into the room. “Don’t worry about the hospital bill. Or the hotel. That’s on me.” 

Thor opened his mouth, the air in his lungs leaving him in a great gust of an exhale, though Tony was already ducking back out of the room before he had a chance to reply. 

“‘Night, Point Break!” he called over his shoulder, before Thor was left in silence, again. 

Unable to stop himself now, Thor curled forward to bury his face into his free hand with a shaky exhale, shock and pure, near staggering relief warring for dominance within his chest. 

His eye slid wearily shut, then, and, for the first time in days, Thor allowed himself to breathe easily. 

If only for a moment. 

\---

The soft sound of shuffling woke Thor an indeterminable amount of time later, and he had only a moment to register where he was before the sensation of a hand resting gently at the top of his head drew him roughly back to the present moment. 

The machines beeping in the corner...The thin mattress of Loki’s hospital bed pressed against the side of his face...Loki’s rasping breaths--

_Loki_. 

Thor sat bolt upright, then, and took one look at Loki’s expression, foggy and slightly startled but blessedly _awake_ , before he was falling forward to wrap both arms tightly around his brother’s shoulders with a wordless cry. 

“I’m sorry.” he found himself breathing, quite before he had even registered his intention to do so. “I’m so sorry. _Loki--_ ”

Almost immediately, Thor felt Loki shake his head, and he reluctantly sat up from where his face had been buried against his brother’s shoulder with just enough time to catch the confused furrow between his brows.

He watched, then, as Loki’s eyes fell from his to skirt uncertainly over the various needles in his arms, before he raised one trembling hand to prod tentatively at the tube still down his throat, and the mask that was pressed firmly over his mouth.

Something like raw panic sparked behind his gaze, then, and Thor felt his own pulse stutter when one of the machines at the bedside began to beep with increasing rapidity.

“No, Loki.” he surged forward quickly to wrap a gentle hand around each of Loki’s shoulders, and leaned forward in order to catch his gaze. “It’s alright. You’re alright. Breathe with me.”

Immediately, he drew in a steady breath, and forced himself to wait to exhale until Loki did the same, his eyes wide and slightly damp, though they remained locked unwaveringly on Thor’s.

“That’s it.” Thor praised quietly, after he managed to get Loki to take another few deep, even breaths. “Well done! Just like that. Good job, Loki.” 

At the words, Loki’s brow furrowed slightly again, and he eyed Thor for another long, silent moment before, to Thor’s horror, tears began to well at the corners of his eyes. 

“Hey, no no!” Thor whispered, his heart twisting slightly when Loki blinked and two large tears streaked down either cheek. “It’s alright.” 

Loki inhaled a large, hiccuping breath, then, before moving one hand slowly, ever so slowly, to wrap his fingers loosely around Thor’s wrist. 

There was a beat, before he gave a gentle tug. 

It was all the invitation Thor needed. 

Without hesitation, Thor moved forward to crawl into the hospital bed to lie alongside his brother, one hand automatically coming up to cradle the back of Loki’s head as the other began to rub slow, soothing circles up and down his back. 

“There,” he whispered, when Loki immediately burrowed further against his chest with a small shudder. “We’re alright.” 

In reply, Loki simply shifted so that his head was tucked more comfortably against Thor’s shoulder, one hand coming up to grip at the fabric of his tunic at the waist as he inhaled deeply--

Before he released a small, barely there whimper. 

Immediately, Thor felt his eyes widen, though by the time he managed to gather himself enough to glance down in surprise, Loki was already drifting back into unconsciousness. 

His heart hammering in his throat, now, Thor forced himself to lean back against the pillows behind, and willed his breaths to slow. 

Loki needed rest, he reminded himself firmly. Everything else could wait. 

Still, he could not quite quell the nervous, unsteady pulse of hope he could feel fluttering within his chest, now--

Nor the way the small, breathless noise Loki had released had begun to echo through his mind on an unending loop. 

\---

Some time later, Thor was drawn out of his shallow dozing by Loki shifting slightly against his chest, one hand coming up to claw first at his collar, then at the mask strapped over his mouth. 

By the time Thor registered the intention behind the action, it was too late, and he was unable to even form a protest before Loki was yanking back, tearing first at the mask, before he removed the tube from his throat in one sharp tug. 

“Loki!” Thor’s disapproving cry was all but drowned out by the stream of rough, dry sounding coughs Loki was barking out, his shoulders shaking with the force of them. 

“You _idiot_ ,” Thor muttered beneath his breath, fear already beginning to cause his pulse to race as he extended a hand to reach for the call button on the bedside table--

Only for Loki to shoot out a hand, the movement quicker than any Thor had seen from him in days, to wrap his fingers around Thor’s wrist, again. 

Thor frowned slightly, though he obediently stilled, and opened his mouth to question the action--

Only for the words to die on his tongue when Loki moved forward to all but hide his face against Thor’s chest.

Loki inhaled deeply through his nose, then, before exhaling one single, nearly inaudible sound. 

“ _Brother_ ,” 

The word was breathy, hardly more than a whisper, yet an unexpected sob was wrenched from Thor’s throat at the sound, and his face split into a grin so wide his cheeks nearly ached with the force of it. 

“Yes!” he cried, and fell forward to bury his face in the curls at the crown of Loki’s head, tears he could not even begin to pretend to hide already spilling down his face. “ _Yes_ , Loki.” 

It was, Thor considered as he tugged his brother impossibly closer to press a long, grateful kiss to the top of his head, the most beautiful sound he had ever heard. 

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote half of this from 10am this morning on so i am so sorry if there are any glaring mistakes i did not catch. (also yea, i still don't understand how the medical field works. whatever doesn't add up let's just chalk up to alien biology uwu)
> 
> again, this is very overdue and i apologize! i want to thank everyone who not only read/commented on the first story, but also those who prodded me and reminded me that i did in fact promise a part two ! i hope this lived up to the expectation! i certainly had a blast writing it
> 
> with the holidays coming up, i might not be updating quite as much. regardless, i do always adore getting prompts from you guys, and am always gladly accepting them over at [my tumblr !](http://littlekinng.tumblr.com) xx


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